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Meant to mention last week but forgot: it gave me great relief, last week, to note that the Knickerbocker Hotel in Hollywood has finally managed to get all the letters in its sign lit up at the same time (as shown):

The second E in "Knickerbocker" seemed to pose the biggest challenge. Been out for most of months, that had, despite a shortlived repair in the midst of that time. But all has been good for, as I said, about a week now.

It might seem a bit silly to get so involved in that just because I drive past it every evening. I think it's because I want people to care enough about things to keep them up, to sustain them. I like it when people care.

Often, as soon as you start thinking about something, examples of it begin popping out at you all over the place. I hadn't been able to pin down the last time I'd encountered the word "erstwhile" in print, but here is a quote from the "TRB" column by Peter Beinart in the November 25 issue of The New Republic:

[Term limits] have failed in the courts, which ruled that federal term limits require a constitutional amendment; in Congress, which couldn't muster the two-thirds vote necessary for such an amendment; and even among many erstwhile term-limits supporters themselves - who, after pledging not to run for reelection, went ahead and did so anyway.

You can see, I hope, how a reader who learns vocabulary from context, as I tend to, could accidentally interpret "erstwhile" there as a wry use of a term meaning "stalwart" or "loyal", or at least "longtime". But I can also see now how the official "former" meaning is accurate.

i LIKE wry. it is fun.

Look what I found on my computer. I don't even remember scanning these. Maybe brother o'mine did and I lifted them from him. but i don't think they're on his pages. Maybe it was me after all.

My cousins, grandparents, brother 'n' me. Whoever scanned this labeled it 1978. I think this might have been one of us grandkids' birthday but I forget whose. Might be my cousin's, since he's wearing some kind of button. or that might be completely irrelevant. Grandpa's wearing some kind of yarn necklace, maybe it's his birthday. Which would make more sense since this is my grandparents' backyard.

Little bro looks roly-poly here because his clothes are bunching up because he's trying to wriggle out of Grandma's lap. He wasn't really any fatter than normal babies. Just thought he might appreciate that clarification.

On my eighth or ninth birthday I got a Vivitar 110 camera, my first ever. This is nearly, if not exactly, the first time I ever used it, on some hot springs near Mammoth, I think. The blues and oranges of the springs were incredibly vivid. I still have the pictures that I'm taking right there. I ought to scan one of those in too, for the record.

naah, must have been me. no one else would bother putting the (estimated) date in the filename.

It was the shallowest of times, it was the deepest of times... I can't decide which way to go today. I could just list everything, I suppose.

Item the first: I want to clarify that I am not always a fan of usage changing the language. I prefer to use words properly, most of the time. But there are a few "wrong" things I like, such as "they" used for a neuter third person singular. I have no problem with this. "It" is not a word generally applied to a human. We need a third person singular that can mean "a person, gender irrelevant". "They" is two syllables shorter than "he or she" and is more pronounceable than "s/he" and has bubbled up naturally into usage. Fine. I have less sympathy for people who misuse words through ignorance BECAUSE they are trying to be snobby or pompous by using long words. So I guess what I meant was "I am in favor of adopting new usages that streamline the language or fill a gap in it."

Hm. I guess the misuse of "erstwhile" doesn't fall into either of those categories. I suppose what I really mean is "I am in favor of new usages that tickle me."

Item the second: I wish there were a way to plug my brain, which on the whole has an abundance of cheerfulness, into another's brain, which suffers from a lack, and balance things out. I know of two people who are having some troubles right now, one whom I don't know well and one whom I know as well as I know anyone outside my immediate family. Neither of them are within hugging range. As a cheerful person who was lucky to grow up free from childhood emotional traumas (aside from the typical let's-intimidate-the-quiet-girl school recesses), I am diffident about trying to cheer depressed people, because I know I have not been in the same places that they have. I am not confident in simple words, fearing to fall into cliches; appearing to minimize or not take seriously how they are feeling is the last thing I want to do. My natural inclination would be to wordlessly comfort by simple presence, doing little things to help out (cook something yummy?), smooth the course of the day, with hugs as needed, happy to talk if that's ok. but, presence not an option here. at least for now.

perhaps I'll think of something.

I am becoming used to the phenomenon that, as soon as I venture to express an opinion here, no matter how universally insignificant, within a week I will be shown how I was wrong somehow, or speaking from incomplete information.

yes, i bought yesterday the most beautiful belt i have ever seen. as part of an outfit on a mannequin that i did not expect to work for me, but that i tried on anyway for a lark. and what do you know. it did. so i bought the whole outfit. because, you know, when these things happen, you have to seize them. but it was the belt that had first caught my eye.

"i feel pretty, oh so pretty..."

guess i like belts now.

it occurs to me, idly, in passing, that there is some difference between english and american vocabularies on the subject of "pants". but i can't remember which way it goes. pants vs. trousers or whatever. anyway by pants i meant outerwear.

words and usages are endlessly amusing. did you know "erstwhile" is supposed to mean "former"? i didn't know that until a friend informed me last week, because every time i remember seeing it used, the intent has been something like "steadfast". "erstwhile friend" is supposed to mean "former friend," not "loyal friend." etc. in general, i am a fan of usage changing the language, but i'm curious now which usage is more widely understood.

not that i have been in the habit of throwing the word "erstwhile" around, but i love to know that sort of thing. except now if i ever do use "erstwhile", either in the dictionary or common(?)-usage senses, i'll have to worry about the people who will interpret it the other way. bother.

context, my dear watson. context is the key. perhaps some humor could even be got from such a situation. although really i hate misunderstanding-based humor. it makes me twitchy on a deep, visceral level. hate hate hate all misunderstandings.

15 November 2002: fashionista

i was advised today before leaving for work that i ought to wear a belt with these pants i've got on. (i like to call them silver, since they have a subtle sparkle to them. other less giddy folk have called them gray, which i at least like to spell "grey".) but i didn't wear a belt, because i don't like belts. they're just a bother. one of the advantages of my female body shape is that i normally don't need a belt, since my waist is narrower than my hips and so my pants or skirts sit there on my hips, no problem. belts? we don't need no stinkin belts.

hee. welcome to frivolous friday. a little sunlight seems to be going a long way this week. well, probably because it's a lot of sunlight after a period of clouds and "cold". i'll try to stop talking about it now.

ok, so the sky was more blue on sunday and monday. but it is still true that i can see rainbow shimmers on the reflective freeway carpool signs as i pass them. reminds me of some of the stickers i used to collect when i was little.

the weather this week, after the rainstorm, is so great. Well, it was best on Sunday and Monday, the smog is coming back now, but still. Seventies and eighties (F, that's, er, pleasant summer day for any celsius folks out there), it's so nice to feel you again after October's grumpiness. I am a bit unnerved by how happy a bright sunny morning makes me. If I lived in, say, Seattle, would I be a completely different person? I like sunny-day happiness. Nothing that had been worrying me can worry me; optimism is triumphant. Even though the reason I'm driving up the freeway through downtown is to go to work and be inside with air conditioning most of the day, I can't help being so giddily joyful about my entire life in the moment (good music on the radio also contributes to this), watching the skyscrapers glide by, realizing that I am living in the future.

We are. I mean, look at it. Tall buildings unimaginable to any human before about 100 years ago, soaring freeway interchange ramps in multileveled car-funneling curves,

see, on sunny days i think they're pretty. on cloudy crowded days i think about l.a.'s poorly-designed lack of trains.

...car-funneling curves, millions of people, crowded amongst each other, shuttling hither and thither, interlocking their lives in too many ways for one person to comprehend.

and the sky (above the smog) is so BLUE.

people they come together
people they fall apart
no one can stop us now
cause we are all made of stars
(moby)

first rain of the season! time for the ever-humorous "STORM WATCH 2002" local news extravaganzas. i wonder if they really do that to tickle all the people who moved here from places where a "storm watch" means "be careful, your house may blow away tonight." whereas here, it means "be careful, there's going to be this weird stuff on the roads, called rain, and it makes them really really slippery, and, like, you should maybe drive a bit more carefully. dude."

although i guess there are a few people round here who are, um, optimistic enough to live in houses built on the sides of hills, in which case STORM WATCH might indeed once in a while mean "be careful, your house may slide down the hill tonight." but, i mean, anyone who lives on the side of a hill in los angeles already knows it could slide down the next minute if there's a big earthquake in the right spot during that minute. so really, what's the difference, i guess.

my left hand little finger and that edge of my hand are tingling.

i know my desk setup here at home is not very ergonomic.

dammit.

The domain I impulse-bought for My Novel is working now. I'm going to switch to putting these running word count type notes over there. "there" being little tennessee dot com.

5 November 2002: catchup

7:26 am: 7259 words. so, yesterday's quota. Now I just have to do today's, hopefully some of it still before I leave for work.

No quotable bits yet today, either.

9:50 pm: 6321 words.

Quota would have been 7200. Only made it halfway today. My dentist appointment that prevented me from doing any work this morning is my excuse. hrm. to make up by the end of next weekend, if not before. but sleep must be maintained, during the early period at the very least, or all is lost.

i don't like any of today's material enough to post it.

7:45 pm: 5502 words.

"Zell crawled into a little cavern between the right side back door and the overflow of some blankets from the luggage space, and curled up with chin on knees, looking out despondently at her uncle and aunt, sister and brother-in-law, cousins, nieces and nephews, wishing that she could leap out of the car and run down to the creek and splash in the water, and they would have to give up on leaving because she would hide down there, among the ferns and the tree roots and the bushes and flowers, and they wouldn't be able to find her, and she knew her family would never leave without her.

But they were leaving without Charlie."

8:42 pm: 3645 words.

"Zell thought for a moment that a sudden hard rain had started pounding and hissing on the roof of the store, and edged a bit closer to Charlie as she placed the sound as coming from the holes cut in the front of the box. She edged closer yet when Mr. Hensley turned another knob carefully, and a new squealing sort of sound started up, whining up and down and around like nothing she could quite place having heard before.
"That's not music," said Zell."

hm. all my excerpts of the day have started with "Zell..." so far. really, not every paragraph starts that way. But even if they did, quantity over quality, you will recall, is the motto here. I shall not stress about anything except GETTING THOSE WORDS DOWN. at least until after november 30.

2 November 2002: movin' right along

10:10 am: 2726 words.

"Zell made a face, as she did any time someone mentioned her full name. She didn't like to think about it too hard, because she knew it was wrong to hate anybody, much less her own mama and daddy, and she didn't really hate her parents, not a bit of it, she loved them more than anyone. But why did they have to let the midwife name her Ozelma?"

9:26 pm: 1846 words!

"[Zell] still felt herself glowing from the unutterable joys of the day - first bare summer feet, and then bare summer feet in the creek, and then Charlie, and now Charlie was taking them on a walk to the general store. Surely it must be the most perfect day ever."

1 November 2002: aaaaand we're off!

"Prologue: In which we meet the Stewart family, living on Morris Creek in the hills of Tennessee, and a favorite brother introduces our heroine to a radio, three years before his death."

7:46 am: 1128 words in the opening salvo. My benchmark goal per day will be 1800. probably will be under on weekdays, make up for it on weekends. 672 to go later this evening I hope.

I hereby predict that late this month I will state these words: "Thank God for Thanksgiving vacation."

back issues: ( 2001 ) ( january ) ( february ) ( march ) ( april ) ( may-june-july ) ( august ) ( september ) ( october ) ( december ) ( 2003 )

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